EK is 8!!!
Oh my word! I know I probably say this each year, but I just can't believe our firstborn is eight! In many ways, it's very bittersweet. I never dreamed that I would still be changing diapers on my 8 year old, feeding her at times, having to dress her, give her baths, brush her teeth. It's a very helpless feeling to not know what she needs or wants when she cries. Many times I've thought that I wish I had enjoyed her first couple years of life more, back when she could do more things than she can now and was verbal. If only I had known it would be taken away. I guess we all feel that way if you've lost someone close to you, long before you should have or if it happened unexpectedly.
But God is good. I love this little girl with all my heart, despite the frustration and stress level at times. She is precious and has a sweet smile. She's a great eater. (Seriously thankful food isn't another thing to stress over!) She loves her siblings. She smiles when Keith comes home from work each day and cries when he leaves. We're thankful for a school that has a classroom for her and teachers that keep her safe each day and try to keep her happy. ;) She has some sweet teachers at church who show her the love of Christ each and every week. So very thankful that I get to attend Bible Study and "big church" and know that she's happy and being loved on.
While I don't understand why God has allowed our sweet girl to regress so much, I know He's used it to teach me. I've failed many lessons, but God is faithful to not leave me where I am. He keeps trying to change me more into the image of Christ. I have so far to go. I thought I was a patient and kind person before I had kids. Marriage showed me a glimpse of how selfish I am, having kids has REALLY showed me how selfish I am. If I could somehow make EK a typical child tomorrow, I would. Having a child with so many daily (and hourly) needs is hard. It's not always enjoyable, but I know when I do it with a joyful attitude, it's pleases the Lord. I need to remember that during the really hard moments. That when I'm serving and taking care of my sweet EK, I'm doing it as unto the Lord and showing her the love of Christ.
My darling EK,
You, dear one, have caused me to pray and cling to my faith more than ever before. God has used you to teach me many things and I know there are many more lessons to learn. I hope you know how much you are loved. I pray that this year the Lord would give us discernment and guidance to find ways to help you more; to help you to feel better inside, to help you show us what you know, to help you communicate your needs/wants. I pray that we'd find more things that make you happy, things that allow you to enjoy life more.
I'm so very thankful that you have caused us to change some our priorities. You have caused us to slow down, spend more time as a family, be grateful for small accomplishments, and trust more in the Lord for wisdom, discernment, grace, etc. WE LOVE YOU!!
But God is good. I love this little girl with all my heart, despite the frustration and stress level at times. She is precious and has a sweet smile. She's a great eater. (Seriously thankful food isn't another thing to stress over!) She loves her siblings. She smiles when Keith comes home from work each day and cries when he leaves. We're thankful for a school that has a classroom for her and teachers that keep her safe each day and try to keep her happy. ;) She has some sweet teachers at church who show her the love of Christ each and every week. So very thankful that I get to attend Bible Study and "big church" and know that she's happy and being loved on.
While I don't understand why God has allowed our sweet girl to regress so much, I know He's used it to teach me. I've failed many lessons, but God is faithful to not leave me where I am. He keeps trying to change me more into the image of Christ. I have so far to go. I thought I was a patient and kind person before I had kids. Marriage showed me a glimpse of how selfish I am, having kids has REALLY showed me how selfish I am. If I could somehow make EK a typical child tomorrow, I would. Having a child with so many daily (and hourly) needs is hard. It's not always enjoyable, but I know when I do it with a joyful attitude, it's pleases the Lord. I need to remember that during the really hard moments. That when I'm serving and taking care of my sweet EK, I'm doing it as unto the Lord and showing her the love of Christ.
My darling EK,
You, dear one, have caused me to pray and cling to my faith more than ever before. God has used you to teach me many things and I know there are many more lessons to learn. I hope you know how much you are loved. I pray that this year the Lord would give us discernment and guidance to find ways to help you more; to help you to feel better inside, to help you show us what you know, to help you communicate your needs/wants. I pray that we'd find more things that make you happy, things that allow you to enjoy life more.
I'm so very thankful that you have caused us to change some our priorities. You have caused us to slow down, spend more time as a family, be grateful for small accomplishments, and trust more in the Lord for wisdom, discernment, grace, etc. WE LOVE YOU!!
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