But it's just not fair...

Sounds like something a kid would say, right? If I'm honest with myself, I've been thinking it a lot lately. It's not fair that EK has autism. Why her? Why can't she be normal? It's not fair that our life as a family has changed. We can't go out to restaurants anymore b/c EK freaks out and starts screaming (plus she can't eat much since we're gluten/dairy/egg free). I can't take her on errands b/c of the same reason. Parenting an almost 3 1/2 year old should be fun, even adding in the strong will that surfaces more and more at this age. I feel like something has been taken from me.
But then I think of my dear friends who have trials that are much more difficult that mine. Friends that have lost children through miscarriage or disease. Friends that have experienced a lot of pain from divorce that wasn't their choice. Friends that are going through tough times financially right now. This life is hard, isn't it? We live in a fallen world and even christians have to suffer. As a friend reminded me the other day, we're not promised a pain-free life and she's right.
So, how do I have joy despite my current situation? It's a daily choice. Somedays are better than others. My life isn't what I thought it'd be right now, but I can choose to praise the Lord regardless of what He allows me to go through. We sang a song in church today that expresses my thoughts exactly. Maybe you've heard it? Part of it comes from Job 1:21 "The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; May the name of the LORD be praised."

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

Comments

  1. SarahJuly 5, 2009 at 3:02 PM

    Oh, Meliss. ((HUGS)) That song means a lot to me, too. I used to just cry and cry while singing it. I'm doing a great bible study right now - Annointed/Transformed/Redeemed. We are in the middle of struggling through disappointment with God. And how David continually experienced this.

    He will restore you. Daily if you need it. Hourly even! PLEASE know that you are in my prayers. I know the fear and pain and frustration and hurt that comes with parenting a child with needs that go beyond what you think you can handle some days, worrying about their future, and crying out to God without even having words. Love you girlie. Missing you today!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. AmyJuly 5, 2009 at 11:38 PM

    We sang that today, too. Such an awesome song and an incredible message. Thanks for reminding me to choose joy.

    ReplyDelete

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