Sorting through the thoughts in my head...

That's a scary thought, huh? I have visited with several different moms lately. The common bond between us is having a child with autism. It's a strong bond, an immediate bond! Even though we all have different stories, we can empathize with each other. The frustrations, the exhaustion, the little triumphs. :) We are all trying to do the best we can to help our children achieve their best.


Sometimes the task seems so daunting. There's so much out there. What do you try? What don't you try? How much does it cost? Can it hurt my child? Are we wasting time/money by doing this? We have tried many different things: diet (gluten/dairy/egg free), vitamins and supplements, sensory therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, ABA (behavior) therapy, brain balance exercises, preschool. While all have helped a little hear and there, I would say she is still severely autistic and low-functioning. When did that happen? I've been looking back at old videos lately of when she was 18-2 years and it's bittersweet. She seems like a completely normal child. Part of me is thankful that I wasn't oblivious to what was going on and part of me grieves knowing that she's so different now.


When we started our autism journey, EK had just turned 3. Most research we read said that the critical years were between ages 3-5. EK is quickly approaching 5 and it concerns me a little, to be honest. I know that she can continue to improve after she turns 5, but that number is etched in my mind. I'm sad that we lost at least a year of speech too. I feel like we'd be so much further if she hadn't quit talking. We'd probably just be dealing with different issues though.


Without completely being a downer in this post, here are some things I often remind myself:

• God created EK. He knows everything about her, every detail. He has the power to heal her completely.


• Up to this point it has been God's will for EK to have autism.


• God is good and faithful in our circumstances and sovereign over them.


• God has provided for all our needs thus far & I believe he will continue to.


• God has given me wisdom and discernment when I've asked for it specifically in things pertaining to EK.

Sometimes I wonder if we're doing enough to help EK. Is there something we've missed? Some doctor that could help us more? How do you know where to draw the line? It's very easy for me to get a "Watch out! I can do this!" attitude. I've read a lot and feel like I understand a lot of the interventions out there, but I always try to remember to ask for wisdom and seek His will. "Is this something you want us to try Lord? Please make it clear to me." I don't want to look back several years from now and regret not doing something, but I also don't want to regret wasting time and money on something that did nothing. I'm not judging others that do try everything. I just believe that, for us, we need to be wise with the resources God has given us...not just our money (although that is a very important one) but our time and energy as well.

Hope this hasn't been too much rambling...just some things I'm wrestling with right now.